Winter 40 123
Sjal had a moment of clarity in the squoia as she'd woken with a start. She'd felt aggressive, the kind of feeling that one might get when facing down an evil monster that'd just torn through an entire village. Her emotions had not been directed at anyone in particular… it was a general feeling. What really put her off after the fact was realizing that she could have killed her fellow humans to satisfy her thirst to fight. She was lucky that she'd managed to resist the temptations, but she didn't want to put the lives of the innocents around her at risk.
The whole experience had gotten her to take a break from her position as a guard in Paradise and head back to her hometown. She doubted the feelings would ever go away – she attributed them wholly to her connection to magic whether that was the reason or not. Thankfully leaving wasn't a big deal as there would always be people who couldn't handle the Paradise lifestyle. Better to let people like her go than to try to train someone who wasn't cut out for it.
Sjal went over the memories of the past few weeks in her head as she sat in her own home once again. She liked to meditate on these sorts of things as it allowed her to become more in tune with herself. She contemplated her draconic connections and how they had shaped her life so far. She thought about how she had spent so much of her life training to fight, especially since she discovered she was a half dragon. She felt as though her life's purpose was to strike down the enemies of her people and that grist magic would only help her achieve these goals.
She then thought about how she often felt as though she would be nothing without magic. She was skilled at using her sword… she'd been that way for years before she discovered her heritage, actually. But ever since she'd had a taste of it, she couldn't imagine ever losing her connection to it. She knew that magic could amplify her abilities and allow her to stand out instead of being just another rank and file soldier type. She liked being different, even if it came with some notable downsides.
"I'm a mess without magic, it seems," she thought to herself as her realizations started sinking in. She couldn't tell if this exercise was making her feel better or worse. "I've become obsessed with it, and it's made me lonely. It would make me so powerful that I could do without the help of others… Not that I blame myself. The only strength I can truly trust is my own."
She massaged her temples as her mind started to go to a dark place. She thought about the stories she'd heard of people who became too dependent on magic. Those who overstepped their bounds and ended up shells of their former selves. People who became so corrupted by overuse that they die. "At least I err on the safe side," she thought. "I'd rather fail at a task than end up like that. But what if I lose control? I've learned that what I want and what mages want isn't always the same thing. I feel like my mind will fracture trying to satisfy different desires at times."
She buried her face in her hands for a few moments then lifted her head. Her eyes flicked open to show that she'd been in deep thought for hours. "Time really flies when I think," she commented to herself as she got to her feet. She stretched, raising her hands high above her head as she stood on her tippy toes. "I ought to get out of the house. I'll get depressed if I keep thinking so much." She stifled a yawn, grabbed her stuff, and set out to the market.
What Sjal thought she needed was a change of pace. She had enjoyed fighting bandits and hoped to do so again, but hunting them down was not as easy as it sounded. She'd only run into one group of them and it had been entirely by accident. She could hardly handle fighting one of them at the time, but she was a lot stronger now than she had been. That line of thinking got her to crave a change in weaponry.
"My sword has always worked well for me, but I want a scythe," she said to herself as she perused the options at the local smith. Unfortunately, she couldn't see any scythes for sale. Now that she thought about it, she couldn't remember the last time she'd seen one in a shop. It was more of a tool she'd see farmers carrying around than a weapon, probably or good reason.
"Can I help you, miss?" asked the smith. He had been watching her for a while now and hated customers who didn't talk much. He was of the opinion that if one came to a smith they ought to know what they want and spit it out.
"Yes, I can't seem to find any scythes," Sjal said with a frown. She didn't like the expression on the man's face but she could forgive him if he could help her.
"Well, I specialize in weaponry. A scythe isn't a very good weapon. If you want farm tools I could give you some recommendations. I know plenty of smiths who would have those in stock." The smith pulled over a book of notes and flipped through it absent mindedly.
"I actually wanted to use it as a weapon. I know it's a silly notion but I think I'll be capable of using it," Sjal said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "Do you think you could make one for me?"
The man scratched his beard and frowned, "well, sure I could make it for you. But I really think you ought to reconsider. A scythe, one used for combat, at least, is going to be heavy. It won't be balanced worth a damned either, since one end will be goofily shaped."
Sjal nodded along, agreeing with him in her head. He did make some good points. "That may be true, but I am stronger than I look. I will be able to handle it. I'm willing to pay quite a bit of money to make a good one as well. I once saw a weapon made out of a red metal and I admired the color a lot."
The smith let out a disapproving grunt. "It sounds like you need the help of a very skilled smith who deals in these sorts of odd requests. I don't fit the bill, but that being said, I can collaborate with some other smiths and we can get you the weapon you desire. It will be quite pricey, especially if you want a rare metal." He scribbled down some numbers and after some back of the envelope math he came up with a figure that made Sjal's jaw drop.
"That's… a lot," she admitted as a bead of sweat formed on her forehead. "Actually let's just make it out of steel then. I think this should be enough of a downpayment," she said as she dumped a bunch of money on the table. It was all she'd brought with her and had been the most she'd hoped to spend but she doubted she would regret her purchase.
The smith grunted again, this time a little more approvingly. They discussed specifics for a time. They went over how long she wanted it to be, how big the blade ought to be, etc. The man fetched some other smiths to get their input as well. Sjal thought it was fun because she rarely spent her money on new gear. She had an inkling feeling that she was tossing her money down the drain but she tried not to think about it too much during the discussions. This purchase was meant to last her a lifetime so she wanted to splurge.
Then there was the matter of armor to discuss. She knew she was strong enough to wear it, especially with the help of magic. She decided to order the best quality she could afford in steel. She wanted a better material but she knew that rare stuff would cost way too much… but she could dream.
It wasn't until she started walking to the inn did she realize just how much money she had committed to spend. She realized she would have to drastically cut back on spending because she wouldn't be able to afford the normal niceties for a while. She thought that she might even have to sell her other belongings and downgrade. She wasn't the best at math but she knew that she had spent way too much. She thought, "I really need to go earn some money. Hopefully I can learn the basics of using a scythe and go find some bandits to kill. The money I get from doing that sort of thing might make this purchase worthwhile."
